It's funny isn't it, how you can go months without uttering a word, wander idly onto a webpage, see they've changed their entire layout system, and suddenly you feel as if you have a hundred things to say, and if you don't say them all now, that you'll feel incomplete and almost broken to a point of wordlessness.
It seems a while since I laid down my life on this page, spelled it out for all to see and wonder what on earth compells me to break my silence once more on the world wide web and reveal everything to you, the witless reader?
It seems days since I last slept. I'm away at the moment, on a children's holiday where it seems that every breath I breathe seems labour full and tiresome. I struggle to find my comfort spot in a world where I have no privacy and solitude to sit on my own, except now, in a room where any moment the door may burst open with some stressed leader, or a child pouring with blood seeking a plaster from the most inexperienced first aider on the planet. That's me by the way.
I actually write with my eyes firmly shut, tiredness keeping them closed. However, I know that the longer I sit like this, the less likely I am to actually be able to move again and go down for 'Dinner'. My kids this year are small, very small, all the same age, that being 9 and all being at a level in which if I'm not careful, I will repeatedly smack the round the back of the head. Endless complaints of "Jen wants this" or "We have to do what she says" or "are you really the leader of the group?" echo fruitlessly in my mind, causing havoc with the ideals of my thoughts and feelings like the matter of giving up what could be my last week of freedom for ungrateful children who only see those who give them sweets or have little authority as someone worth their while. I'm even patching them up, which to be honest is quite fun, but it could be more blissful. Holes in feet and bleeding toes is all I've had so far. Anyway, away... to somewhere more... boring.
Home seems such a long time away, and so far from this point. x
